Sunday, December 27, 2009

Clutter


The Christmas clutter was abundant this morning as I entered my living room. Scraps of wrapping paper still littered the floor along with boxes emptied of their new toys. Lots and lots of Christmas clutter.I thought that perhaps Christmas had gotten lost among all the christmas clutter.
I then spotted an old friend. One who for more than a decade has gently reminded me of the reason for our Christmas celebrations. Sitting on top of the Christmas tree, claiming her annual right as our tree-topper is an angel. Oh she is just made of plastic and imitation silk, ordained with cheap lights and even cheaper light holders, but each year she reminds me of another angel, an angel who many, many years ago proclaimed, "Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace to men on whom his favor rests." For this same angel had just delivered the good news, "Do not be afraid. I bring you good news of great joy that will be for all the people. Today in the town of David a Savior has been born to you; he is Christ the Lord."
Ah, there was the reason for celebration! Had it gotten lost in all the clutter until this quiet morning two days after Christmas?
I have spent the entirety of this day contemplating clutter. The clutter of Christmas, the clutter of the season, the clutter of 2009. As my thought deepened and the day came closer to an end I began to think that the Teacher of Ecclesiastes was correct when he said that everything was "meaningless". Or perhaps everything is clutter.
Clutter, that if allowed to do so, will obscure everything important in our lives. Not just the loss of the true meaning of Christmas, I think that has been forgotten for a very long time, but other things...other important things.
The things that cluttered my life in 2009 have recognizable icons. Busy days at work that cluttered time with my children. Worries about bills and obligations that clutter the few and precious moments of a time that parents have to spend alone. 2009 also brought new clutter into my life. I did not think that either of these two icons would turn out to be clutter but they have.
The first was "Facebook". This new social network continues to gain in popularity and I, after first resisting, gave into the newest method of networking. So why do I now consider it clutter? Why will I deactivate my Facebook this week, sending it into that vast void of nothingness? Facebook reduces each of us into nothing but snip-its. Clutter. With a quick line here or there, a comment made on the run, or through many of the fantasy applications, we define ourselves to the world. Reunited with friends of old, but only via their daily posts, we think we know them. New friends are added, friends that we will never meet face to face, people that we really know nothing about, but our "friend" list continues to grow. We have many many friends! If we look past the clutter of Facebook, or Twitter, My Space or what ever avenue you choose, you will discover that you spend most of your time alone. It's all clutter.
The second icon of clutter this year for me was my continued fight against addictions. I released my book, "Addicted to Faith", with visions that perhaps someone would stop abusing. Each day I begin with a simple prayer that an addict will stop. That they would stop before the hurt themselves or another. That they would stop before they die. I pray that instead of seeking drugs that they would seek God.
Instead, after years of fighting, I have come to this conclusion. The clutter in the addict's life will keep them from seeing the truth. The clutter is not only the drugs they swallow, it is also the lies they tell. The clutter is not only the crap the snort up their nose or the junk they shoot up their veins, it is also the people they betray. The clutter is as much a part of their recovery as it is their addiction. The addicts walks into the AA, NA, or CA meeting proclaiming another day of sobriety, but if you sweep away all the clutter, you will find an addict waiting for the next high.
I will continue to pray each morning and each night for you. I pray that you will decide it is time to stop. I will pray that God places someone in your life that can kick the clutter way so that you will see the truth.
I thought that God was leading me in the direction to help others, but today I realized that I can not. God can and God will.

Friday, November 6, 2009

Who wipes His tears?


The fog along the IH35 corridor this morning was appropriately symbolic of how so many must feel after yesterday's tragedy at Fort Hood. Cautious navigation through this story will take time before we reach the destination that explains to us how one man can cause such pain and anger to so many others.

As I drove into San Antonio listening to WOAI report more stories surrounding this terrible event my thoughts naturally turned towards God.

The bible describes many of God's emotions, love, anger and even jealousy. The New Testament verse, "Jesus wept.", also tells us of the emotions of our Savior. But I wonder, does God cry?

When events like what happened yesterday at Fort Hood bring such pain to us, does God feel that same anguish? When man, God's children, stray so far away from good that he commits murder, does God grieve over the loss of human life? Does God agonize over the one who committed these life-shattering acts? Our sadness and grief will cultivate many tears. Will God cry?

Revelation(21:4), promises, "He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away." We can have comfort through God's words, but today who comforts God?

I believe that God is crying today. I believe that each time a tragedy like yesterday's happens, God looks down upon His creation and cries. I believe that each time a person chooses to ignore God, to turn his back on the gift of salvation, and dies to an eternity of Hell, God cries. I wonder, who wipes the tears from the face of God?

Friday, October 30, 2009

An Alabaster Jar


Yesterday two of the lead news stories were about pornography, specifically about child pornography. One of these disheartening stories was about a school teacher that had thousands and thousands of pornographic pictures stored on his computers. The other told of a father that, while in a drunken state, forced his two young daughters to watch porn on the internet.

Addiction to pornography may be as difficult to break way from as any other addiction. Substance abuse addiction will come with withdrawals once the addict decides to stop, withdrawals that cause the addict physical pain. For the porn addict there will be no pain, not for him anyway. The child-porn addict will only cause pain. One day he will cross the line and do the unthinkable, causing lifelong pain to a child, all because of a refusal to recognize that he is addicted to filth.

Is one addiction worse than another? Is one sin worse than another? Many addicts will infect the lives of the people they contact, infection through the pain they cause, through the anxieties they cause, and through the damage they cause. But the child abusing porn addict...is this beyond infection, do they bring a terminal illness to those they infect? Should we tolerate this behavior? The drunken father who forced his daughters to watch internet porn lives in Texas. In Texas, evidently it is legal for this father to do what he did, protected by laws that are thirty years old, written long before the porn-filled internet existed. Did our tolerance allow a school teacher to collect child pornography for years, undetected by anyone?

As I write these words I struggle with what should be done. My perspective as a father of six children clearly tells me that these addicts should be put to a swift and painful death. My struggle derives from my perspective as a Christian.

There is a wonderful story in the 7th chapter of Luke's gospel that tells of the anointing of Jesus by a most unlikely woman. Jesus had been invited to dinner at the home of a Pharisee. As Jesus reclined at the table this woman came with an alabaster jar of perfume and a desire for Christ. This woman stood behind Jesus at his feet, weeping. She then began to clean the feet of Christ with her tears, wiping them with her hair. Then the perfume was poured onto the feet of Christ. The Pharisee's words soon end the picture of this beautiful story when they say,
"If this man were a prophet, he would know who is touching him, and what kind of woman she is-that she is a sinner."
Luke's story does now tell us what sins this woman committed, but we know from his writing and the words of the Pharisee that she had lived a sinful life. Jesus then tells a parable about repaying of debt, and forgiveness. Jesus' parable teaches us that those that have fallen the furthest, will rise the highest when they turn to Christ.

This woman who came to Jesus cried out of a desire to change her life. She turned away from a lifetime of sin and knelt before the Lord. Jesus said to her,
"Your faith has saved you; go in peace."
If you are addicted to pornography and do not stop you will die...forever. You can know Christ Jesus today. You can seek His forgiveness today. You can know that when you lie your head down for the very last time you will be in the presence of Christ Jesus...forever. Kneel at His feet, have a desire for Christ instead of an addiction to filth.

As for myself, I will continue to struggle understanding how God can accept us just as we are. For me to accept that a person who treats children as sex objects can fall under the same grace and mercy as any other is difficult. I will pray for the families of the teacher and the father; I will pray that my own struggles never interfere with my own walk with Christ. I hope you will pray with me.

Wednesday, October 14, 2009

"Follow me"


This letter is to Christian leaders, to godly men and women who today can begin a change.I cannot be eloquent in my words, but will strive to be sincere in my convictions. I am not a prophet or a preacher, just a man who loves Jesus Christ.

Every day I wonder if there is more I can do to help someone overcome a life of addiction. I spend time with God, asking for guidance and wisdom. I know God knows my heart, he is aware of my desires, yet for many years now I have felt that this battle will continue until His kingdom comes. I spent hours trying to remember the times I knew God had intervened, hoping again for His help. Page after page of scripture has been read and re-read searching for those words of comfort and hope, comfort and hope that can only come from faith that God is in control. Today God gently reminded me of His words that came early on in my search; “This is the message you heard from the beginning: we should love one another.” [1Jo 3:11]
I began to realize that what I perceive as “my world” is just a microcosm of what our nation is facing today. Without doubt, those that do not know God because of an addiction to drugs or alcohol or abhorrent behavior are numerous... no, more than numerous, there are millions, but there are ten-fold that do not know God because of circumstance.
Today we must begin to change those circumstances.
Today we must remember the message we heard from the beginning.

Christ told fishermen, “Come, follow me…”
Christ told a tax collector, “Follow me.”
Without pomp and circumstance, without hesitation, with only obedience…they followed.
You are a leader, Christ said to you, “Follow me.”
Today when Christ commands, “Follow me.”, our leaders must shout, “I am.”

I am not speaking of our political leaders, not our president or our governors, not our mayors our councilmen. I am speaking of our spiritual leaders, our pastors, our church leadership, our deacons and ministers, our priests and our rabbis. Leaders with a heart and a mind like that of of Spurgeon and Luther, Calvin and Graham, must rise up and LEAD!

Today our nation and our leaders are like Peter, denying Christ when we need Him the most.

Today a nation that was built out of the very desire to have the right to worship God is lead by those who deny His existence, all in an effort to be “fair”.
God’s not fair, God is just!
A nation, whose founding fathers, godly men, saw a future that promised freedom because of God, not from God.
Today we are a nation that denies God. We deny Him access into our schools. We deny Him access into our holidays, our days of celebration. Prayers are limited to a moment gathered around a flag pole. There was a time when we praised Him for a flag raised over a nation, a nation of people united by a fear of God.

An opportunity for reprieve came to the fisherman that denied Christ:
“…Jesus said to Simon Peter, ‘Simon, son of John, do you truly love me more than these...”Feed my lambs.”
An opportunity for reprieve has come to our nation. It is time as a nation to “Feed his lambs.”

Today we are a family that denies God. We have so distorted the very definition of family that it can hardly be recognized. We have become so afraid of hurting someone’s feeling or of not including them as part of the family unit, that now we can no longer see God’s design in the family. God’s design of a man and a woman, a husband and wife, a father and mother. A family held together by love, love for one another, and love for God; love for God that was expressed in prayer, prayer once spoken around a dinner table. Now we hope we can get through the fast food restaurant before prime time.
“…Simon, son of John, do you truly love me…take care of my sheep.”
It is time as leaders of our families to “take care of his sheep.”

Three times Peter denied Christ.

Sadly our third denial of Christ is in our churches.
Today there are churches that depict God as the generous CEO of a successful corporation. Preachers tell of a God that can be super-sized or downsized, depending on the needs of the followers. Churches where the bible is never seen, instead jumbo-tron televisions broadcast the preacher’s face in giant size images.
Three times Christ asked “Do you love me?”
Then feed my sheep.

It is time to change. It is time to feed His sheep.
There will always be sermons about Job and Abraham, sermons about forgiveness and sin. Now is the time to feed His sheep.
Now is the time to fill the churches with those that don’t come every Sunday. Open your doors and let the rejoicing sounds overflow into the neighborhood. Now is the time to fill the streets with those that have no place to worship. Now is the time to feed His sheep. There will be those that listen but do not hear,those that scoff and laugh at your words, but should you be the one that determines who hears? Feed them all with the Word of God, preach His promises, and tell everyone who He is.That may mean leaving the comfort of the church building and going into the streets to gather His sheep.That may mean telling the homeless, the addicts,and the lost the story of Jesus, and then when they ask you about a place to rest their head you invite them in, opening the church building as a place of refuge. When they ask you about food for their belly it means opening the coffers... to feed His sheep. Remember what Christ did with just two fish and five loaves of bread.
“Do you love me? Then feed my sheep.”
You are God’s chosen leaders. He said “Follow me.”
Shout “I am!”
Shout “I am!”
Shout “I am!”
If you are already feeding His sheep, then do more.
If you are already shouting His word, then shout louder.
Look around, our nation is falling, our God is being forgotten.
Sunday, November 1, 2009 marks the beginning of a season of Thanksgiving. Would it not be majestic if on this morning church bells rang across the land, church doors stood open, inviting all in to follow Him, united in one thought, "Feed my sheep". Then what if every day for seven days those same bells ring, inviting all to hear the gospel preached each night. Church buildings opened providing shelter, providing food,providing revival to a nation starved. What if?
You are the leaders.
Lead.
You must make the change.
Feed His sheep.

Tuesday, October 13, 2009

Just Stop


Mary,
You said “you can’t” and “”you don’t want to quit smoking”, but desire to lead a life that is pleasing to God. I had smoked for more than 35 years, when in 2008 a doctor told me that I have COPD due to emphysema, all because of smoking. I stopped smoking that day, scared by the doctor’s warning. A few weeks passed before the desire to smoke returned. I didn’t think I wanted to smoke again, so I prayed and read God’s word daily, looking for the encouragement I knew He would provide. Each moment became more difficult to resist a life long craving that would be easily satisfied by lighting up. I remembered the Apostle Paul’s words of struggle, “I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do…for what I do is not the good I want to do; no, the evil I do not want to do –this I keep on doing.” Romans 7:15 and on. Paul struggled against something he did not want to do, but the reality was I did want to smoke!
I compromised and started smoking cigars. I played word games with myself, convincing myself that cigars could not be as bad as cigarettes, and would be easier to quit when I finally decided to do so.
Last Friday, just a few days before receiving your email, I was again facing the concerned look of doctors. I had entered the med-clinic with difficulty in breathing. The third breathing treatment in a matter of a few minutes would not raise the oxygen level in my blood. Three more treatments were provided before the doctors sent me on my way, prescriptions in hand and recommendations that I go to the emergency room should I not improve.
Paul wrote “but what I hate I do”, I do not know what Paul’s addiction was, the bible does not reveal it to us, we just know that he hated it and he did it. I enjoyed smoking for many years, Mary, you said “you don’t want to quit”, how much harder will it be for us to quit if we don’t even hate what we do?
I am starting over on quitting, with renewed hope. I am not afraid of dying, knowing my destination, but I am afraid of waking each night needing a breathing treatment because lying down allows crap to accumulate in my lungs. I am afraid of one day being that person walking around Wal-Mart with a bottle of oxygen, snarling at anybody that comes close to my breathing tubes. I am afraid that one day my nine year old son will find me lying on the floor dead. I have renewed hope that I will one day hold my youngest son’s son. I have renewed hope that with faith I can stop. Three days ago when I again came to God on bended knee, afraid enough once again to seek His help; I prayed for direction, I prayed for revealing scripture. Two words were His answer, “Just stop”.
Mary, each addict’s battle will be as unique as each of us. I learn as a child of God, knowing that God wants His family to share in each experience, to learn of His love through each other. I share with you Mary what you already know; God loves you and now is the time to “Just stop”.

Jim Hirtle

Monday, September 28, 2009

At the well


A friend was telling me about her son's battle with alcohol. He has grasped sobriety on a number of occasions only to have it slip from his hands, returning to a life ruled by alcohol. She wondered aloud what his reasons for drinking may be.
I have thought about her question for many hours now. Why does her son or any addict go numb. Through my own experiences, having a family member battle the Beast of Addiction, I believe that a person who drinks obsessively or gets stoned daily, a person that lives a secret life addicted to gambling or pornography does so to escape who they are or to momentarily become someone who they are not.
My life experience, not formal education, constructs my beliefs. The foundation that I am able to build my beliefs on is God's word. I know that there are many differing opinions on the root cause of addictions, whether it be to alcohol or any other substance or behavior. I know that there are support groups such as AA or NA that allow the addict an escape. I know there are doctors and counselors that methodically will treat an addict with substitutions for the abused substance. All of these well intentioned professionals do so with much higher education than I.
But when the question regarding the loved one of a friend was posed my only thought was to seek an answer from God.
The books of the Old Testament record many stories about God's people turning away from Him and back to their addiction. Their addiction was to a life of sin, a life that worshiped idols instead of God. Each time God's chosen turned away they did so out selfishness. Either they did not like where they were at, or wanted something more than they had. Their impatience with God returned them to a life of addiction. When Moses was slow returning from Mount Sinai they forgot all that God had provided and cried to Aaron "Come, make us gods who will go before us..." Give us something that will make us feel better! We don't like who we are or where we are, give us something artificial instead!
In the New Testament, in John's gospel, we read about a Samaritan woman's encounter with Jesus Christ. The woman had been married five times and was living with another that was not her husband. In desiring to be someone else this Samaritan woman went from man to man, addicted to a life style that she was ashamed of. So ashamed she hid from Jesus her true living conditions.
The story goes on to tell us that this woman wondered "...Could this be the Christ?" In fact, Jesus' conversation with the woman at the well had such an impact that others "believed" because of her testimony.
The rest of her story does not unfold for us in the pages of the bible. But I cannot believe she continued here previous lifestyle after her encounter with Christ.
These words give us faith that an addict, by going to the well of Living Water and asking Christ into their life, can begin a life of sobriety.
Both of these stories, the Israelite's impatient wanting and the Samaritan woman's experience at the well also taught me about the grace of God.
I believe in the sovereignty of God. I believe that He allowed the nation of Israel to rebel time and time again. I believe He allowed the Samaritan woman to lead a life of self-deprivation. I believe He allows an addict to succumb to temptation. I believe this knowing that with His sovereignty comes His grace, with His grace comes His love. I believe that when the addict turns back to God, He will be there, at the well, waiting patiently, with grace and with love.
Why do we do what we do? Why do we get stoned, drunk, crazy and insane? Because that's who we are, we choose to be there. Where can we be? In His grace...just ask.

Saturday, September 26, 2009

Coffee and God


I stood on my porch this morning enjoying a steaming cup of coffee and an incredible sunrise. The cooler mornings of fall have finally arrived and gently sprinkled morning dew over a seemingly revitalized lawn. Perhaps the plentiful rain of the past few days will add new life to a lawn that suffered through a very hot Texas summer.
As I sip my coffee and look to the east, gazing past my neighbor's cornfield, I enjoy a sunrise that is filled with hues of orange and blue that could only be created by the palette of God.The morning song of a nearby bird is the only sound that is heard.The serenity of this morning and all her elements have a numbing sway, providing a perfect moment to have conversations with God.

All at once the songs of the bird were replaced with the deep bass sounds of a eighteen wheelers air-horn traveling down IH35. The interstate is not much further from my front porch than my neighbor's cornfield. The serenity and numbness of my perfect morning end abruptly with the driver's warning sound.

Reality rains down. I take a closer look at my lawn and realize that the new growth is actually weeds, the majority of the Bermuda is still brown. There has been no corn in my neighbor's field for months, having succumbed to record high heat and watering restrictions. Even calling him my neighbor is off target, we have exchanged morning nods on a few occasions, but I don't even know his name. My porch, which moments ago felt spacious, in reality is only four foot by four foot, and suddenly just a place to wipe your feet.

My experience this morning is a microcosm of the daily life of an addict. Many addict's are able to reach moments of serenity and numbness by swallowing a pill. Some of these addicts think that they are fooling everyone into believing that they are "straight and sober". They believe their addictive behavior is undetected by friends and family. They do not realize that their secret life is just being ignored by others after years of concern and tears. With great hypocrisy they attend their weekly support meetings, pretending to be great examples to others just beginning a life of sobriety. After the meetings, after a day of practiced deception, the addict steps onto her own 4X4 porch and goes numb. I pray each day that their moment of numbness will be interrupted by life's air-horn, allowing reality to rain down.

This morning there were only two realities; coffee and God.

The addict realizes their "coffee", their drug of choice is authentic. Do they realize the veritable nature of God? Can they accept that God will help? Will they allow God to paint sunrises in their life that signal a new beginning?

Another morning will find me again on my porch, enjoying conversations with God. You see it is through these conversations that faith allows me to know that interruptions are temporary, that when beautiful sunrises turn into dark gray clouds, that when lawns give way to weeds, and when my coffee turns cold, He will still be there...listening.

Monday, September 21, 2009

Abstinence Only....


Democratic members of the Texas Legislature have decided that our state funded high schools teaching "Abstinence Only" are not achieving the results desired. They have decided that it has "failed" and must be changed. State Senator Leticia Van de Putte said "We are in denial", inferring that the program is broke and needs to be changed. She quoted numbers, as most outside-looking-in politicians are apt to do, that 46 percent of high school girls have already had sex. (Wouldn't that indicate that 54 percent had not). She also mentioned that 57 percent of boys in high school claim to have had sex. Along with State Representative Mike Villerreal, Van de Putte uses this info to conclude that teaching "Abstinence Only" is not working.
Senator, could it be that abstinence only is being taught with tongue in cheek? In order for these schools to receive coveted state funds they are required to teach this seemingly controversial subject. Could it be that they just go through the motions, to include the occasional "wink, wink" by the teacher.
Abstinence, like so many of our valued morals and ethical behaviors has it's roots in biblical teaching. Perhaps if we allowed the bible back in our schools...perhaps if we embraced it's Author, then this and other subjects would have a greater positive impact on the future leaders of this great nation. If we as parents teach our children a value system based on our faith and then the school system is allowed to ridicule those same teachings we will all fail.
We must not allow this important program to end based on statistics! Instead we must rise to a higher standard of teaching. Teaching abstinence must not be allowed to go they way of other perceived failures. As a nation we learn from our failures, and with determination aim to be better without compromise. We have already laid cracks in the foundation of the family by accepting homosexuality as a trait instead of as someone's choice to ignore the biblical definition of husband and wife, to ignore God's gift of intimacy granted to a man and a woman. Every year we hear from those who want to legalize drugs, it seems it may be easier than to lock up so many abusers. Ironically the largest problem with addiction is to legalized drugs! Doctors have replaced the street pusher by writing prescriptions for every new "syndrome" that comes along. Evidently that is easier than dealing with the patient's real problem, easier than being a physician.
Senator Van de Putte don't take this direction with teaching our children alternatives to abstinence, instead do what we have done as a nation from our beginning; recognize that without understanding that we are better because of our belief in God, all the programs in the world will be for naught. Recognize that without true effort to succeed we have no hope.
"America is a nation with many flaws, but hopes so vast that only the cowardly would refuse to acknowledge them." James Michener

Thursday, September 17, 2009

99 or 1


Earlier this week during a family bible study, unexpectedly an occasion emerged to discuss the parable of the lost sheep, as told in the fifteenth chapter of Luke's gospel. Our conversation was about the "one"; the one lost sheep that had wandered away from the masses. Jesus reminds the cynical audience that a good shepherd will leave the flock to rescue the one that strayed. Once rescued the sheep is carried home on the shoulders of his master. The master announces his triumph to friends and family so they can all rejoice together.
As I drove the many miles home that night I had time to consider this impromptu conversation. Although the earlier discussion had not involved the subject of addiction, I began to consider the "one" as an addict that has wandered away from the masses because of a behavior, because of a choice to go numb. In my 52 years there have been many "1's" in my life, my thoughts were of these ones that I love; my father battled alcoholism for many years, my sister fought drug addiction to the death, her death. Second and third generation family members have battled, some still fight today. I thought of my wife's struggle for more than a decade against prescribed painkillers.As I continued the drive home my attention changed from the "1" to the "99". There have been many "ones", but I thought of the ninety-nine.
Those that did not take a path that leads to a life of self-abuse were hurt by the ones that strayed. The "ninety-nine" began to take new form in my mind. They became more than the names of family members and friends that were in the cataclysmic wake of the addict's behavior, the 99 included everything else that the addict touches. Holidays that are crushed, birthdays forgotten, memories that should elate, instead are avoided. This consuming wake drowns finances, it will soak relationships to a point where they cannot grow. Words are voiced by the addict and the family member that cut to the very marrow of our soul, leaving scars that last a lifetime. Marriages destroyed, trust annihilated, friendships ended.
Should we ever just forget the "one"? Let them stay lost, after all it was their choice. The pain will eventually subside, the scars will surely fade. Maybe one day they will find their way back to the family. Then we can rejoice, but until then why continue to try to find them. Why should we consider carrying them on our shoulders back to the security of the masses? The pain gone,we can begin to have a life without the worrying about one lost sheep.
Why? Because at some time we were the one. 2000 thousand years ago our Shepherd went to the cross looking for us. Knowing that we were lost, He died for us, He died for you and He died for me. He died for the one.
There will be rejoicing in Heaven when we go home, no longer lost.
Today is the day to leave the comfort of the 99 and go find the 1. Help stop the addiction, tell them of your love, tell them of Christ's love, do it today.

Wednesday, September 2, 2009

Is Love Enough?


I just finished a month long study of "The Five Love Languages" by Dr. Gary Chapman. One cannot spend that much time discussing love without naturally contemplating the role love plays in our own life. I spent hours wondering if love is enough when we are dealing with an addict. Whether the addict is our spouse or children, friend or other family member. I wondered, how do we express our love to the addict, what love language do we speak?
Was my love communicated when I sat for hours in the emergency rooms after she had swallowed too many pills. Was love realized in the beginning when the time was spent in hospital waiting rooms as she tried to obtain a prescription; cleverly feigning ailments that did not exist. Did my words of encouragement reflect a loving attitude? Is sympathy or empathy a language of love. There were hugs then arguments, was this done with love? When I cradled her head through the sickness of withdrawals, when I wiped her brows of sweat when her body rejected the absence of drugs, did she know it was because of love? Could fifteen years of abuse been avoided if I had loved her enough in the beginning? Would my love be enough to keep her from going back to the pill?

Addiction is stronger than love.

God is stronger than addiction.

In all the ways we will show our love to someone who has succumbed to the ravages of addiction, if we fail to pray, if we fail to have faith and if we fail to tell them about God, our ways will be a waste.
The Bible tells us in 1st John chapter 4, verse 10;
"This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins."
Does she know that God loves her. Does she know that God can help? Did I tell her? John went on to write in the very next verse
"Dear friends, since God loved us, we also ought to love one another."
Is love enough? Not yours, not mine. Only God's.
If you face this situation today, tell the one you love about the One that loves them. Tell them that you love them, and then tell them again that God loves them. Keep telling them until they believe, until they stop.
Have faith my friend, God loves you too.

Tuesday, August 25, 2009

T.M.I.


Last night I was reading a young man's blog which dealt with the issue of God's existence. He told us that an acquaintance, a self-professed atheist, had asked the blogger to prove the existence of God. This blog resulted in many comments from the thoughtful readers who desired to help this young man answer the atheist's question. Many of the answers were deep in theology, referring to scripture and doctrine. Before I realized it I had spent too many hours chasing the references quoted. I surfed the net and found hundreds of articles on the Doctrine of Asiety, on Calvinism, the reformation, Doctrines of Salvation and papers on Arminianism. I breezed through websites that dealt with the existence of God and others that convincingly would lead one to rationalize the "Big Bang Theory". As I entered key words into various search engines hundreds of other blogs were suggested dealing with the same subject matter. As the time passed without notice I suddenly became overwhelmed with the amount of information that is at our finger tips in this age of technology. The accuracy of the information is for the seeker to determine, but undoubtedly the amount available is endless. As my wonderful 13 year old daughter (soon to be 21) would say, "T.M.I."
Too much information!
The proof of God is told in the greatest story ever written. This great story, with many wonderful stories within verses beautifully written can be summed up without an overload of information. Information that can only be understood by those much more intelligent than I, who consume biblical doctrine as if it were a bottomless bag of popcorn. Simply;
First there was God.
He created man to love and to be loved by.
Man sinned.
God's grace was revealed in his patience.
Man sinned again and again...
God became man.
Jesus taught us to "believe"
On the cross Christ said "It is finished" Paid in full!
Jesus died for you and for me.
Faith.
Faith is why I believe in the existence of God.
Years ago when I was still seeking out my own belief system I wrote a poem called "God?"
I can't remember the words, too many years have since passed, but I recall that it began with the words, "In the beginning there was God"
The poem went on to tell of man's fall, then man's narcissistic belief that man created God in our own image. That one day man decided we didn't need God at all. The final line of the poem..."And God cried."
Maybe I will find the poem and share it here. Today my files are all on a computer, that poem was written in long hand on notebook paper, and is secreted away in boxes long ago sealed.
I am thankful that my journey lead that young poet to a belief system that recognizes truth through faith.

Monday, August 24, 2009

The Delete Key


Admittedly I use the "delete" key when writing more than I would like to admit. I will usually walk away from the newly generated text for a period of time, only to return and decide I do not like the way it reads...delete. All the previous hard work and conceived thoughtful passages gone with just a stroke of a key.
I began to wonder what our lives would be like if we would simply "delete" the mistakes we have made. What if the recovering addict could wipe out all evidence of their life prior to recovery. Suppose all evidence of extra-marital affairs, gambling debts, drug abuse or alcohol abuse would simply cease to exist with the tap of a life size "Delete" key. The addict could then truly start with a clean slate.
The problem of course would occur when, without the evidence of past mistakes, we would be bound to repeat these same mistake, to relapse. Your prior life of addiction is part of the make up of who your are now. We certainly long to forget the behavior, to forget the pain we caused ourselves and others. We wish that we had never made the decisions that lead to a life of addiction. But all of this, the pain, the regret and even the losses make you who you are today...a recovering addict.
Your recovery was only possible through Christ. You may know Him, or if not you have heard his name, Jesus. The Apostle Paul wrote;
"Surely you heard of him and were taught in him in accordance with the truth that is in Jesus. Your were taught, with regard to your former way of life, to put off your old self, which is being corrupted by its deceitful desires;to be made new in the attitudes of your minds; and to put on the new self, created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness." Eph. 4:21-24
We cannot "delete" our former way of life, nor should we forget. But we can know that we now have a "new self", one created to be like God, created by the Creator.
If you still struggle with addictions, it is time to stop. I checked the calendar and the clock, they both say "Now is the time!"
Accept Christ's invitation. Begin a walk today that will be free of drugs, alcohol, pornography or gambling. His death and resurrection is the only "delete" key you will ever need.

Tuesday, August 11, 2009

Just Words

As I drove into work this morning I tuned my radio to WOAI 1200 . The morning show is hosted by the always unpredictable Charlie Parker. His topic in these early morning hours was whether participating in adult type chat rooms should be considered cheating on your spouse. Charlie's position was that this behavior should not be considered cheating. I do not know if Mr. Parker took this position because of his belief system or to make the phones ring, because they did. The few callers I heard before arriving to work and turning this unusual morning chatter off told Charlie that he was wrong...that this behavior is indeed cheating.
Chat rooms, social networks and other conduits of the 21st century do indeed allow people to behave in a way, cloaked in secrecy, unlike any other time in history. Even Facebook allows one person to send another a "hug" or a "adult beverage" and even a "kiss". We use to call this dating, now we call it cyber-chat.
As I listened this morning two questions came to mind, first, if it is not cheating then why is is typically done in private? Second, if it is not cheating, then what is it? A third question came to mind, I wondered how many times this morning host had been married, but I soon realized I was being unfairly judgmental.
The internet has allowed us to make cyber-contact with people from our past, some we haven't seen or heard from in more than twenty years. I did make contact with an old friend, I had not seen or heard from her since 1980 or 81. I found myself one day in a chat that lead to, what I considered then, innocent flirtations. Then one day I discovered that my wife, the woman I love, had participated in her own "innocent chat" with a co-worker. It hurt. I was angry, hurting, and let my imagination carry me further than her email had. Then the moment came when God pointed out to me that my own behavior would also cause hurt...to my wife. Charlie, it is cheating.
Innocent flirting, two people that by simply entering binary numbers into a computer that crunches them at incredible speeds and turns them into words that reflect inappropriate thoughts , recorded on a computer screen will lead something that is more than "Just Words".
Many have become addicted to the chat life style. And many of those will go deeper into the world wide web, to include the dark crevices where internet pornography rules as a golden idol. Like any other addiction, the addict will try to hide their behavior, especially from their spouse. Hidden from the person that you once thought you could share every thought with, and stay up all night just talking, planning futures, dreaming dreams, is now the person you avoid, afraid that your errant behavior will show on your face.
This addict must make the choice now to stop. If you think you can not stop, then turn to Jesus Christ and ask Him to help.
"For I am the Lord, your God, who takes hold of your right hand and says to you, do not fear; I will help you." Isa 41:13
Take His hand. Today.

Monday, August 10, 2009

Friends Who Divide

A recovering addict faces challenges each day of sobriety. To battle and overcome these challenges requires strength and determination, hope and faith. Reducing the daily challenges must be an continuing regiment for the addict, to include a discerning ear when listening to friends. They will discourage you with reminders of your past life. The will encourage you to partake in the substances of yesterday. The will mislead with intent, they will lead with deception.
In the book of Jude, the author spoke of "scoffers" whose only ambition was to satisfy their on desires. Verse 19 reads, "These are men who divide you, who follow mere natural instincts and do not have the spirit." Jude followed this warning with words of encouragement, verse 20 reads, "But you dear friends, build yourselves up in your most holy faith and pray in the Holy Spirit." He ends this short letter by reminding us of the One who is able to "...keep you from falling".
Your faith in Christ Jesus lead you out of addiction. Let your faith apply to your recovery. Know that when others discourage, He encourages. Know that when others would let you fall, that He can prevent the fall. Celebrate each day of sobriety with thanks given to our Lord and Savior. And when the "scoffers" appear, because they will, pray that the Spirit of God will guide you, that He will provide you with the words to say no. That He will provide you with this opportunity to show to those that want to divide, what Christ has done in your life...He can do in theirs.

Tuesday, August 4, 2009

Drug Use Increases.

Without much fanfare Reuters reported today that the use of anti-depressant drugs increased by 14 million people from 1996 to 2005. That's a lot of depressed people. That's a lot of pills. That's also a lot of money for the pharmaceutical companies and the doctor's that are writing the prescriptions. The article went on to say that not only are more people depending on these drugs but the one's that were already swallowing are swallowing even more.What I did not read was when, if ever, does the depressed person get better, or are they doomed to pop pills for the rest of their natural life? There are many illnesses that will require a lifetime regiment of medications, does depression have to fall into this sad category?
As a child of God, saved by Christ Jesus, I have not and will not experience depression. I have been sad, to the point of tears, He wiped them away. I have been afraid, He provided courage. I have been without, He taught me contentment. I have experienced darkness, He is the Light. Being a Christian is not without the worries of the world, but when you know Christ, when you place your faith in Him, you know that it is all temporary.
If you are depressed seek help, but first seek God. He is waiting for you.
The Great Physician might just prescribe-
"Read one verse and call me in the morning."

Monday, August 3, 2009

A pill for addiction?

Buprenorphine? What is it? It is marketed as an alternative for methadone treatment under the name Subutex or Suboxone.. But what is it? It is a synthetic opioid, a narcotic, similar to heroin. It is used to treat substance abusers. So can Subutex be abused by someone who has spent a lifetime abusing drugs? Yes. Can it kill you? Yes, if abused. One of the side effects is confusion, another is pain and another...depression.
So if someone who has an addiction to prescribed pain killers, doesn't matter which one you choose, receives a prescription from a "we care" doctor for Buprenorphine, this same addict may experience confusion, pain, and become depressed. The addict is already experiencing confusion, pain (real or imagined) and they already spend each day being depressed.
There is definitely a huge market for this new drug (call it what it is). An estimated 2 million people begin a journey of painkiller drug abuse each year. Plenty of doctors will be able to write the script for this drug, it is easier to become a certified pusher of Buprenorphine than it is for Methadone.
I wonder will any of these doctors consider alternatives?
I hope that some will consider introducing Jesus Christ to the addict before prescribing another pill to swallow.
I hope that the addict that said;
"When I finally got to the point where I didn't need the medication any more (the pain killers), I couldn't quit taking it." "Honestly, after being on medicines for so many years, the thought of being off is frightening. It scares me. I think to myself every day, am I going to be able to do this?"
I hope she can.
I hope that every addict that reads these words knows that there are people who care.
I hope that the addict will see that with faith it is possible to end your life of self abuse. It will not be easy, but you will not be alone.
I pray I am not hoping for too much.

Sunday, August 2, 2009

A time to stop.

Solomon wrote, "To everything there is a season, and a time to every purpose under heaven." [Ecc 3:1]. Now is the time to stop. To stop the drugs. To stop the abuse. To stop the alcohol. Now is the time to stop getting high, getting drunk, getting stupid. Stop going numb and live. It is time to stop pretending. It is time to stop believing that you are in control of your addiction. It is time to stop hoping that she will suddenly quit popping pills,to stop hoping that he will stop drinking. Just like the addict you are fooling yourself.
It is time to stop.
It is time to change something. This past week we read of the mother who savagely murdered her four week old baby boy, Scotty. The story continues to develop and we will probably never know what could drive anyone to commit such a horrible act. But it appears that drugs, or medications were involved. The mother had been seen by doctors on more than one occasion for treatment of mental illness. Did these caregivers write prescriptions for mind numbing drugs without concern for post treatment care. Did the doctors warn this young mother that if she stopped taking the drugs without proper care that adverse reactions may result. Did the doctors ever consider any treatment other than chemical? It is time to stop.
Today we began a bible study on love. We have included in our study Gary Chapman's "The Five Love Languages". This study talks about "quality time", "gift giving" and other ways of communicating love. I look forward to learning more, we all need ways to better our communication, but what is love.
Where was the love of Scotty's mother?
Where was the love for the mother?
Where was the love of the caregivers?
Where was God's love?
I cannot answer the first three questions but I can tell you that God's love is evidenced in that today I know Scotty is in the arms of our Lord. That is love.
It is not what we should do when we love...but what we do because we love. Because of God's love He became a man. Because of Jesus' love He preached about the Father's love. Because of Jesus' love he died for you and he died for me. Because he died, we don't have to, not a death of eternity.
It is time to stop.
Stop writing prescriptions as if they were dollar off coupons for the circus.
Stop swallowing a pill everytime something doesn't go your way.
Stop jabbing, blasting, snorting, popping. Base crazies get off your hands and knees searching for crack and start searching for God. He is there, next to you.
Love your addict...tell them they must stop. Help them.
Love your self...you must stop. Get help.
Love God...He loved you first.

Tuesday, July 14, 2009

An Answer

I find that when I am troubled it indicates that it is a good time for prayer. Listening for God's response to our prayers is sometimes difficult due to our own impatience, our tendency to supply our own answer or perhaps by other outside interference. Yet other times God places in our heart His answer. I asked a question about free will and the love of our Lord. God pointed out to me in ways only He can that whether we choose to act upon our "free will" or to do the "will of God", we are the one making the choice. We sometimes say flippantly "if it be the will of God". We know the will of God without question. We know it through His word, we know it through gifted knowledge of what is right or wrong.An answer... He does love us enough to let us choose. And when we choose wrong...He still loves us. Chapter 11 of the book of Hosea records God's words as..."When Israel was a child I loved him, and out of Egypt I called my son. But the more I called Israel, the further they went from me. They sacrificed to the Baals, and they burned incense to images. It was I who taught Ephraim to walk, taking them by the arms; but they did not realize it was I who healed them. I led them with cords of human kindness, with ties of love; I lifted the yoke from their neck and bent down to feed them."
God calls us out of our addiction. Sometimes we fail and move further away from Him. We worship the addiction instead of our Lord.We do not see His healing powers. We do not see that He has lifted the yoke from our neck. We do not see Him bend down to love us.

Monday, July 13, 2009

Thought for Today

Can a Born Again Believer become addicted? Addicted to drugs or alcohol? Addicted to gambling or pornography? The answer to these questions are hard to swallow. I guess what I really need to know is what happens when the believer fails in their walk with sobriety? You see first there was the addiction. Then the saving grace of God delivered her from addiction. Now, just two small bottles of pain killers found hidden away. Is our free will so valuable that God allows the Beast of Addiction to re-enter our life?

Monday, July 6, 2009

Addicted to Faith

The final (I hope) edited copy of "Addicted to Faith" was sent to the publisher on Friday. Writing this book brought to the forefront many memories for me. Memories of my wife's battle with an addiction to prescribed pain killers.Recently the news media has reported on the drastically high number of people who die from accidental overdoses to prescribed medications.The numbers surpass those attributed to addictions to cocaine or other similar opiates. According to the NIDA, National Institute On Drug Abuse, an estimated 48 million people abuse these drugs, using them for non medical reasons.Accessibility to these drugs is a major contributing factor, easily obtained from legal sources...doctors and dentists.Responsibility for addiction is the sole property of the addict, however when we knowingly contribute to their addiction we become like the pusher. These professional "pushers" are educated not only in their chosen field of medicine but are taught to recognize the micro-signs of addiction. Yet many choose to ignore the signs, writing the prescription just to get the addict out of their ER or office.As a professional they should offer the help the addict really needs, whether the aid is direct or by recommendation. When the doctor or other professional instead chooses the easy route they should be held accountable. I understand the addict has made the choice to abuse, and for these decisions there will always be consequences. They will be responsible for the harm they bring to their own life, but in no way does this excuse the professional "pusher's" behavior.
I hope that "Addicted to Faith" or "Going Numb" will help the addict recognize that through the grace and mercy of a loving God they can defeat the addiction in their life. I hope they see that a trip to the Cross can be made instead of yet another trip to their "pusher".
Hebrews 12:2
"Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning it's shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God."

Monday, June 29, 2009

President Obama

Today's headlines on Yahoo (are they still considered headlines?) announced that President Obama has finally selected a church to attend. This is good news, but have we elected an individual, who when making a choice about his place of worship, makes headlines? The faith of our elected leaders should be without question, their choice of God, or as in this case, their choice of church, and should not require media involvement to bring assurance to a nation, blessed by God, that the leader indeed has a belief system. Regardless of President Obama's belief or faith the thought that our nation would have elected him if it (his faith) was in question is unsettling. Maybe tomorrow's headlines will provide us with information that actually concerns the well being of our great nation.

Saturday, June 27, 2009

A Nation's Saddness

The loss of Farrah Fawcett and Michael Jackson this week has caused sadness and the resurgence of many memories. It saddens me to know that both of these deaths may have been prevented. In Ms Fawcett's case we can only wonder if the science to provide relief from cancer were as popular as the science to create painkillers, mind numbing drugs was at least equal could her life had been extended. It now appears that Michael Jackson was addicted to prescribed painkillers. We may never know if a combination of these drugs, administered by care givers, and his own addiction resulted in the early death of the King of Pop. I hope that people pay attention to this tragedy and realize that the abuse of painkillers will ultimately result in them being just "killers". I pray for the families and friends of these two stars, stars that allowed us to enjoy their work, to laugh with them, to sing with them and to even dance with them.

Wednesday, June 24, 2009

Addicted to Faith

I have finally completed "Addicted to Faith" and sent it to the publisher yesterday. I am sure the edits will be many (spell check doesn't always know what I meant). With God's blessings the new book will be out this fall. I hope it will help you in your battles with addiction.

Friday, May 22, 2009

The Year of the Bible

Rep. Paul Broun's choice of words, "The Year of the Bible" may have sparked criticism and perhaps were not the best choice, but his motivation should be applauded. Any religion, belief or non belief cannot deny the fundamental good that is recorded in the pages of scripture. Whether we are Christians, Muslims or even atheists, learning from history is beneficial for all. If the founders of our Constitution had acted with repulsion to including recognition of the Bible as a cornerstone for our nation we would be sadly a different people today. Yes in this time our Congress has many important issues to tackle. The time they spend on these issues should warrant priority. But if we as a nation continue to put God, the Bible or moral beliefs on the back burner they will soon be unrecognizable. We deserve more than that. God deserves more than that.

Thursday, May 21, 2009

Strength in Recovery


"Be on your guard; stand firm in the faith; be men of courage; be strong."

The Apostle Paul's words of encouragement [1Cr 16:13] to his young Christian audience can easily apply to the recovery of an addict. You must guard against temptations, for they will come. It will require your strength and courage to face them head on, standing firm in your faith you can beat the Beast down each time the addiction tries to regain control of your life. Your victory is in Christ. Have faith.


Monday, May 18, 2009

Recovering By Faith

Mark's gospel retells the story of four men who brought another friend, a friend paralyzed, to Jesus in hopes of a healing. These four friends did not just carry their sick friend, they fought large crowds in their effort. Many had heard of the miracles Jesus had already performed and they crowded others out of the way. Their battle through the crowds, carrying this man on a bed, was lost. Too many were seeking to see this man, Jesus. Determined to help their friend, together they raised him to the roof of the building that Jesus was in. Then after removing part of the roof they carefully lowered him down. It was these four men whose faith that Christ Jesus recognized, "When Jesus heard it, he marveled and said to those who followed, 'Assuredly, I say to you, I have not found such great faith, not even in Israel!"
If you have a friend or loved one who is battling addiction then act as these four men and carry your friend to Christ. Have faith that Christ can heal the addiction, even of those who can not walk to Him by their self. Be their friend. Have faith.

Saturday, May 9, 2009

My sister Sue

Today we would celebrate Sue's 49th birthday. But she went home to be with the Lord in 2007. Sue fought the battle of addiction for most of her life. In the last few years of her life with us she fought her battle with Christ at her side. As we remember her this Mother's Day weekend it would be easy to be sad, believing that addiction had won the battle. But the truth is that she was victorious in her walk with Christ. By her side He helped her to win small battles along the way. By her side He led her to Heaven. By His side she will spend eternity. We miss you Susie.

Friday, May 8, 2009

A day away from the past.

Each day that an addict stays clean or sober is another day that separates them from the past life of addiction. Each day that an addict who has recovered through the grace and mercy of God is a day to celebrate. Your faith is what allows you to stay clean, to stay sober. I thank God each day for you. If you have not overcome the addiction in your life then now is the time. Ask Jesus for his help. He is waiting for you. Just know that He will, He can help you. Just ask.

National Day of Prayer

It is sad to know that on this National Day of Prayer, our president has chosen not to recognize it from a position of leadership. It was but a handful of leaders, that through faith lead the Israelite nation out of captivity and into he promised land. We continue to be inspired today by these leader's faith and recorded prayers. Today our nation is held captive by our own reluctance to

to have faith in our Maker.

Our leaders must lead, must encourage, must have faith and must pray. I will include President Obama in my prayers today, on this National Day of Prayer, I pray that his visions will include a nation united by faith, a nation encouraged by itself instead of discouraged by rewritten history, a vision of a land filled with milk and honey. Amen

have faith in our Maker.

Random Thoughts

Hold My Hand

If you were to ask any of my children what colloquial truisms they recall their father uttering as they passed from toddler to young ad...