My Bucket List

 September 17, 2022-

I have shared this story every year for more than decade now. Each year I re-read it and maybe make an adjustment or two. 

My Bucket List

I turned 65 years old today. I had a thought early this morning, what if this is my last birthday? What if 65 is all I have?

Throughout the day I pondered over my Bucket List. There wasn’t much pondering, you see I have never had a Bucket List. So, the task, twelve years past on my 53rd birthday, was to create my Bucket List.

I scratched my head and put teeth marks in the proverbial pencil as I mused over what would be number one on my list. Minutes then hours passed with nothing rising to the surface. So, I changed strategies, I thought about the things that I have already accomplished or have been blessed with, things that may have been on a Bucket List if I hadn’t already experienced them.  

Family always comes first to mind. I was born into the most incredible family 65 years ago. I still see them every week, we still talk and hug, and we laugh and cry together. We grow old together. Last year, Mom went home to be with our Lord. I do miss seeing her, but when I am with my sisters, it is as if Mom is right there with us, urging us on.

I have lived in the Great Northwest, the South Pacific, the east coast and the great state of Texas. I have fished for rainbows in the Russian River and went snorkeling along the Coral Reef.

I have left my footprints in the sand of Hawaii’s North Shore and boot prints in the frozen snow of Alaska’s North Pole.

I had hair past my shoulders and was called a Hippie. (I may have returned to that lately, not as long and certainly not as thick).

I have served my country and been called a U.S. Marine.

I went to school with Mark Twain and Thomas Edison and tasted college for a short while. I have read Tolstoy, Dickens, Stephen King and the Bible.

I have eaten at the Ritz Carlton and Taco Bell, both on the same day.

I have had money in the bank and I have sold Coke bottles to scrape up enough to buy a pack of smokes.

I have had cancer, chemo and misery.

I have had remission, recurrence and rejoice that I am still alive.

I have been high and I have been low, so low that all I could see was the bottom.

I have run marathons and I have crawled across the cold floor on hands and knees, unable to stand because of pain.

I have gone from a 34 waist to a 38 waist and back to a 34 waist. (it is okay to applaud here)

My favorite teams have won the Super Bowl, the Stanley Cup and the World Series. I have watched a perfect game and caught a foul ball.

I have listened to Vivaldi, Miles Davis and ZZ Top, all in the same afternoon.

I have tasted Opus One in Napa Valley and drank a Lone Star beer with Willie Nelson and Mickey Gilley while sitting in the Recovery Room.

I have seen every episode of Seinfeld at least three times.

I’ve published a novel, a short story and have tucked away in the back of my imagination the Great American Novel.

I have fallen in love and out of love.

I have made love on a beach and on a mountain top.

I have had two wives, two ex-wives and six children. (Maximized the limit on both!)

I was with four of my children when they took their first breath.

I was with my father when he took his last.

I have done everything I want to do... almost. At the end of the day my Bucket List only had one thing written on it… you.

I figure if you are reading these words then you and I have at least met somewhere along the way. And I don’t know if I have ever told you the story about Jesus. You see, He is the reason I made it to 65. I know without Him I wouldn’t be here today.

So, on my Bucket List I wrote just one thing,

Today, tell someone about Jesus.

I think that someone is you, so here goes-

God loves you and me so much; He has since the very beginning of time. God knows everything from the beginning to the end; everything, every day and everybody by name. He knows your name.

God knew that we would never love Him as He loves us. He knew until we loved Him as he loves us we would be separated forever and ever. But we can't love like that because...because we are hooked on sin.

So, God sent His son down from the heavens, down to earth. We called Him Jesus, teacher, King and Messiah...

and then we killed Him.

And when He died, He took all your sins and all my sins. And from a wooden cross on Calvary, He paid the cost in full. He paid the price of our admission to an eternity with God. He did it for you and me. He unhooked us!

And then, incredibly, He told us, all you must do is believe, He has done the rest. It is finished.

If you were the only one in the entire world, He would have done it all for you.

Do you believe?

Thanks for listening. Thanks for helping me finish my Bucket List.

Your Death

 Your Death

Tell me something—

How can something so massively meaningless

Mobbed with yesterday’s memories

Swarming with today’s sorrows

Teeming with bitter tears

                                                                                    Something from so long ago—

                                                                                    Leave me feeling so fucking empty

 

A Queen

 

Pomp and circumstance, kings and queens, all unfamiliar to us on this side of the pond. But at the news of the passing of Elizabeth, Queen of England, the entire world stopped for just a moment to remember someone we really didn't know. 

The following poem was penned by Queen Elizabeth I. A poem about beauty, love and lamentations. Fitting for today-

When I was Fair and Young

When I was fair and young, then favor graced me.

Of many was I sought their mistress for to be.

But I did scorn them all and answered them therefore:

Go, go, go, seek some other where; importune me no more.

How many weeping eyes I made to pine in woe,

How many sighing hearts I have not skill to show,

But I the prouder grew and still this spake therefore:

Go, go, go, seek some other where, importune me no more.

Then spake fair Venus’ son, that proud victorious boy,

Saying: You dainty dame, for that you be so coy,

I will so pluck your plumes as you shall say no more:

Go, go, go, seek some other where, importune me no more.

As soon as he had said, such change grew in my breast

That neither night nor day I could take any rest.

Wherefore I did repent that I had said before:

Go, go, go, seek some other where, importune me no more.

Neglect

 

Webster's Dictionary defines neglect as; to give little attention or respect to, or; to leave undone or unattended to especially through carelessness.

I shall accept the first to define my own neglect in attending to this blog. I have no excuses, yet numerous reasons, most of which include writing.

Today, I made available for pre-order on Amazon my newest collection of poetry titled Dark Light The Poems of a Divided Mind. Depending on how long Barnes and Noble take to approve the hard back edition, it will also soon go on pre-sale. You will be able to get either, the e-book or the hardback on October 24th.

I have also been working on a new full length novel with the tentative title of Fatherless.

Now you know my reasons, excuses if you prefer, for being absent from the blog. During this absence I have discovered numerous ways not to promote my books. Perhaps I will go into the dreary details at another time, but for now, so as not to cause more neglect, I confess to you a late night revelation-I had better response from this blog than all the other vehicles combined. Sometimes, I guess, one must be buried in a landslide of failures before looking back at who or what got you there in the first place.

S, I have committed, only to myself at this point (don't take this wrong, I am just not ready to commit to anyone else) to write here, in this old friend's house, at least three times a week. I hope to be able to keep you apprised on what's happening in my library, poetry that I may be trying, or anything else that creeps out of the darkness of my divided mind.

See you soon,

Jim