Friday, August 20, 2021

POSITIVE TEST

 

Peculiar words crawling over the pages of my journal

Leafs of beige bound by counterfeit leather

Small enough to rest within my palm

Masks, quarantine, isolation, Covid, Alone

Lyrics scribbled upon blue lines traversing

Three hundred and more pages, one page for each day

Turning back the ink-smudged pages

A quest for what I have forgotten

Notions pilfered by a thief in the night

Named Rum


To page twenty-six I turn

The day you left wearing your blue mask

Stained by tears of unknown fright

“It is just the sniffles”

I proffer

From behind my unmasked face

 

You wanted to believe me

More than the three-letter castle of mandarins

More than the bespectacled practitioner

With a silly name and fat wallet

More than the curve refusing to flatten

You wanted to believe

 

 

You didn’t believe

Donning your blue mask

Saddled by purse overflowing

With vessels of purity

You left me

 

Page thirty-one

You called to talk to me

“It is just the sniffles”

I vow

“Come home, to me”

I am tired of being alone

“I cannot” you cried

Poised on the line between manic and truth

 

Page sixty-seven

A text-no voice

Punctuated with a red heart emoji

“Come home” I reply (no emoji)

“I cannot”

You lie

 

Page ninety-nine

Just a X

Scrawled in burgundy stain

I may have been drunk

Ask Rum, he never lies

 

Pages one-hundred and beyond

Echoed words defining a new norm

No one really likes

You do not call me anymore

(Or text)

 

Blank pages


Suddenly something new

Page three-hundred and eighteen

A fresh word

Vaccine

 

Page three hundred and nineteen

You toss a text, smiling

Vaccine Vaccine! Wear your mask and run!

Followed by a flexing bicep emoji

 

“For the sniffles?”

I reply

 

You don’t

 

Page…today

New words—

Positive Test

For you

And your mask

And your purity in a bottle

And your Vaccine Vaccine

And your leaving

Me

 

Sniffle, sniffle


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