I arrived to a room that was filled with addicts. Like my wife, all were not cocaine addicts. I listened to them reveal their addictions,as I patiently waited for tonight's speaker to begin. There were alcoholics, cocaine addicts,and those with combination's of abuse. I was sitting in a room with people, whose network may have abused every drug there is to abuse. I was uncomfortable, hoping that the time would progress rapidly to the moment I could walk out the door.
Then a young girl stood up to introduce tonight's speaker, my wife. Her words and choked back tears told all of her adoration for Tammy. Tammy is this young girl's sponsor, her mentor. She spoke of a time with without hope, and then how hope came to her through the words that my wife had shared with her. And now Tammy was about to share those words in a room filled with people who cling each day to an elusive hope.
In 2008, my first book, "Going Numb" was released. The book was about a battle with addiction; Tammy's battle. It was about God's love and intervention in our life. It was suppose to be about hope. The last chapter of Going Numb was written on what was then Tammy's thirtieth day of sobriety, it has now been more than three years. As I read those words back now, I realize that in those final thoughts written was also doubt. I did not have much hope that Tammy could even stay sober to day thirty-one.
Thank God I was wrong. You see, tonight Tammy wrote the final chapter with the words she delivered to a room filled with hope.
She invited us on a journey that began with her childhood and it would continue along a road filled with turns and obstacles until it would finally reach her recovery. Tammy's words brought back many memories. Memories that I had chosen to bury in the darkest corner of that closet we call our mind. She reflected on behaviors that had caused pain to the people she loved. She told this audience how she had ruined so many things. As I sat there listening to my wife's confession I wondered why she would tell a room filled with strangers about such private matters. Her words caused hurt, for her and for me, yet she continued down this road.
Tammy spoke of things I had not remembered. She spoke of things I had not known. With her words she completed stories that previously I had only been able to guess as to the endings. Not another sound could be heard as she lead us on this journey whose scenery revealed scars that heal so slowly.
Tammy spoke of God. She told us how He had been there when others were not. The list of "others" is exhaustive and includes me. It was at this turn in the road that I saw her destination. With Tammy's words paving the road she lead a group of people to a place called Hope. By revealing where she had come from she accomplished the message of where she was going, and tonight everyone in that room wanted to go with her.
Tonight I saw for the first time in many years the woman I fell in love with. She has matured beyond me. She came through this journey better.
She looked at me as she spoke with tears brimming her eyes and said, "I don't know how I will ever make it up to you."
Baby, you just did.
No comments:
Post a Comment