I began today as I do everyday, time with God. First is time spent in scripture then a time of prayer. I pray each day that I will realize God in my midst each and every moment. This morning at 7:49 I received a phone call from my sister. Her call was to tell me of an accident that a family member had been involved in. Her voice alone told me that it was not good. Tragedy was the result of a terrible accident. Three people were dead. Her husband, the driver was home with minor injuries. He was sleeping, having succumbed to the emotional toll, late night hours in a small town hospital and question after question asked by the State Troopers.
I struggled to find words that would offer encouragement, offer hope, words that would soothe. She asked only for prayer. I told her I would.
Within minutes of receiving the news of this terrible accident my phone once again rang. More news, unrelated to the accident, came to me. Bad news. News that could be life altering.
I had not yet stopped to pray for my sister and her family when the second call delivered it's punch. The second call was ended abruptly by the caller.
I sat at my desk stunned. In a matter of minutes overwhelming information had been delivered. My mind had little time to react to the first call, much less to respond to the second.
Question after question raced through my mind. How did the accident happen? Who were the people killed? Would charges be filed against the driver? Why? Would my sister be okay?
Questions prompted by the second call were grounded in doubt about the candor of the caller. She accused me of causing her newest situation. Was I the agency of her problem? Was there any truth in the words she spat with such venom? What would our future bring? Would my marriage survive another blow? Would I be okay?
Where is God now?
It was 8:11 AM before the questions ended their ricochet. The staggering effect of the calls began to subside. For twenty-two minutes I did not realize God in my life. I had told my sister that I would pray, I had not. Until the final question, "Where is God now?", I hadn't even thought of God.
The sudden news and sorrowful nature of both calls had lead my mind away from God, away from my source of comfort and towards life circumstances instead. For twenty-two minutes I chose life without God.
The choice was not a conscious one, but one that is rooted in the very nature of man. My choice, our choice, to face life's problems without first facing God is wrong, always. It is lonely, always. It hurts, always.
It is avoidable...always.
In the 69th Psalm, the psalmist begins-"Save me, oh God;for the waters are come into my soul." He goes onto write verse after verse, words that depict a depressed soul. He describes his life as being sunk in a deep mire. He declares that he is tired of crying, his throat is dry. Hatred has polluted the life of King David, his enemy looks to kill him. Yet even with all that is wrong and hurting in his life David ends his psalm with these words-"I will praise the name of God with song, and will magnify him with thanksgiving."
What the psalmist understood that I failed to for twenty-two minutes is that there is life and there is God. I can choose one or I can choose both.
Life will always have it's tragedies, it's sadness, it's dark hours. Time will pass and the shock of this morning will wear off. Life will return to normal until the next event. As with today's the next will have pain to deliver, and questions will arise out of the mire. But next time, I pray, I will remember to first "...praise the name of God and magnify him with thanks" before I spend another minute without Him. I lost twenty-two this morning, I can not afford to loose anymore.
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