Four Hundred Nights
by J Hirtle
Four hundred nights have fallen since I first prayed to
you
Each night with knowledge of the cancerous centaur
Growing within my core
Four hundred nights listening for your answer
Searching the worn and thinning pages of scripture
On a quest to find your promises
“Do not fear”, you said,
“For I am with you”
I searched the darkness for you
I stretched my hands
Grasping for your promises
I opened my heart
Aware of your faithfulness
Desperately setting aside fear
But Fear would not let go
Four hundred nights have carried my prayers
I tried to believe you were listening
Four hundred nights displayed the prayers of others
That you brought into my life
I wanted to believe you heard each one
I longed to know your faithfulness was present
Even when mine vanished into the blackness
You said you would “strengthen” me
Yet I am so weak
I wanted to hear you whisper in my ear
Yet I only hear the raspy cries of the centaur
With each new pain
Small or vast
He declares misgivings
Anger rises up like the phoenix
The villainous chorus sings
“Where is your God now?”
In the confines of the night
I did not know if it was my voice
Or theirs that sang these words
Night gives way to morning
The world awakens
"He is God!"
The mountains cry
Four hundred nights have carried your words
From the twilight they called to me
“Do not be anxious,”
“For I am your God”
With each passing moment
Your words remained true
You guided the hands of the surgeon
As they violated the centaur
You guided the care givers that administered the elixir
Along the crimson highways
Attacking that which remained of the sprawling monster
Lulling it to sleep
Until the day you call me home
And yet you knew the “We Care People”
Are measured by the gold they seek
And you made ways to satisfy their hunger
When I could not
The scriptures sing your words
“The Lord is the one that goes before you”
Make way my Lord, I cried
Let me know your faithfulness
Four hundred nights have passed
All of me exhausted
Yet through your promises
Tonight a roof remains over my head
My cupboards testify of your ministry
Four hundred nights
You remained with me
I pray now
But my words have changed
I pray now
That my faith will be as yours
Pure and true
Forever
Amen
Amen Brother.
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