Wednesday, November 17, 2010

15 or 45

When we screw up it does not matter whether we are just a kid (15) or an adult (45).
Swallowing pills, sucking down booze, popping a vein or smoking weed is screwing up. I can think of so many reasons why chemically altering your thought process, damaging your gray matter,or getting high is a screwed up thing to do. I am tempted to write about the legality of it, but writing that message is like beating the proverbial dead horse. I could write about the adverse physical effects of being stupid, but that would probably fall upon deaf ears-you see most people that abuse drugs and alcohol believe they are invincible. So the physical ramifications carry little threat and evoke even less fear. I could write about the spiritual abuse that accompanies the physical abuse. My favorite subject to read and write about is God; God and faith. But even now, writing about God and screwing up probably wouldn't have the desired impact. I could tell you that God loves you just as you are, that He accepts you with all your screw ups, that His Son already paid the price for you screwing up, and that He will provide the way to unscrew your choices...if you let Him. I could tell you that our God is a jealous God and wants you to focus on Him, and point out to you that when you are stoned you can't do that. I could tell you that your pills and your weed are false idols, that even though you may not realize it, you bow before them as if they were your god. I could tell you all that, but I wont, not now.
What I do want to tell you is this-your choices, your actions, your highs, not only screw up your life but they will screw up the lives of everyone around you. Friends and family who enter that sacred circle you call your life do so because they love you. If they don't then they are not your friend, and they are family you can do without. But the ones that love you, the ones that hurt when you hurt, the ones that cry when you screw up are the ones you cannot do with out! Most of the consequences from screwing up will belong solely to you; but not all. And that's not fair.
Every day I wake up I live the consequences of my wife's choice to abuse. She has moved on, she deals with her own consequences now, but I still live with the ones she provided to me. The bill collectors still call my home wanting their money, money that instead was wasted on dozens of doctors and pharmacies.Past family good times, birthdays and Christmas's that were lost are still lost, gone forever. The memories of hospital rooms and late night arguments over where she had been have faded, but will never disappear. I tell you these things not for your pity but for your edification. You see I am blessed, I have been able to move on as a single parent with beautiful children who look forward to holidays and birthdays, without fear of those moments being screwed up by one who was suppose to nourish. But I know that before I was blessed, I hurt. And I know that at this very moment someone who loves you is hurting because you keep screwing up, because you choose highs over life. Because you don't have the courage to say no to your addiction,to say no to your friends (who aren't friends at all) when they pass the joint to you. Open you eyes and see that who you have is not worth all the dope in the world. If you don't do it now, then one day you will open your eyes and they will be gone. Your friends, your spouse, your children...all of them will be gone, but you will still have your high. Is it really worth it?

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