Monday, September 28, 2009

At the well


A friend was telling me about her son's battle with alcohol. He has grasped sobriety on a number of occasions only to have it slip from his hands, returning to a life ruled by alcohol. She wondered aloud what his reasons for drinking may be.
I have thought about her question for many hours now. Why does her son or any addict go numb. Through my own experiences, having a family member battle the Beast of Addiction, I believe that a person who drinks obsessively or gets stoned daily, a person that lives a secret life addicted to gambling or pornography does so to escape who they are or to momentarily become someone who they are not.
My life experience, not formal education, constructs my beliefs. The foundation that I am able to build my beliefs on is God's word. I know that there are many differing opinions on the root cause of addictions, whether it be to alcohol or any other substance or behavior. I know that there are support groups such as AA or NA that allow the addict an escape. I know there are doctors and counselors that methodically will treat an addict with substitutions for the abused substance. All of these well intentioned professionals do so with much higher education than I.
But when the question regarding the loved one of a friend was posed my only thought was to seek an answer from God.
The books of the Old Testament record many stories about God's people turning away from Him and back to their addiction. Their addiction was to a life of sin, a life that worshiped idols instead of God. Each time God's chosen turned away they did so out selfishness. Either they did not like where they were at, or wanted something more than they had. Their impatience with God returned them to a life of addiction. When Moses was slow returning from Mount Sinai they forgot all that God had provided and cried to Aaron "Come, make us gods who will go before us..." Give us something that will make us feel better! We don't like who we are or where we are, give us something artificial instead!
In the New Testament, in John's gospel, we read about a Samaritan woman's encounter with Jesus Christ. The woman had been married five times and was living with another that was not her husband. In desiring to be someone else this Samaritan woman went from man to man, addicted to a life style that she was ashamed of. So ashamed she hid from Jesus her true living conditions.
The story goes on to tell us that this woman wondered "...Could this be the Christ?" In fact, Jesus' conversation with the woman at the well had such an impact that others "believed" because of her testimony.
The rest of her story does not unfold for us in the pages of the bible. But I cannot believe she continued here previous lifestyle after her encounter with Christ.
These words give us faith that an addict, by going to the well of Living Water and asking Christ into their life, can begin a life of sobriety.
Both of these stories, the Israelite's impatient wanting and the Samaritan woman's experience at the well also taught me about the grace of God.
I believe in the sovereignty of God. I believe that He allowed the nation of Israel to rebel time and time again. I believe He allowed the Samaritan woman to lead a life of self-deprivation. I believe He allows an addict to succumb to temptation. I believe this knowing that with His sovereignty comes His grace, with His grace comes His love. I believe that when the addict turns back to God, He will be there, at the well, waiting patiently, with grace and with love.
Why do we do what we do? Why do we get stoned, drunk, crazy and insane? Because that's who we are, we choose to be there. Where can we be? In His grace...just ask.

Saturday, September 26, 2009

Coffee and God


I stood on my porch this morning enjoying a steaming cup of coffee and an incredible sunrise. The cooler mornings of fall have finally arrived and gently sprinkled morning dew over a seemingly revitalized lawn. Perhaps the plentiful rain of the past few days will add new life to a lawn that suffered through a very hot Texas summer.
As I sip my coffee and look to the east, gazing past my neighbor's cornfield, I enjoy a sunrise that is filled with hues of orange and blue that could only be created by the palette of God.The morning song of a nearby bird is the only sound that is heard.The serenity of this morning and all her elements have a numbing sway, providing a perfect moment to have conversations with God.

All at once the songs of the bird were replaced with the deep bass sounds of a eighteen wheelers air-horn traveling down IH35. The interstate is not much further from my front porch than my neighbor's cornfield. The serenity and numbness of my perfect morning end abruptly with the driver's warning sound.

Reality rains down. I take a closer look at my lawn and realize that the new growth is actually weeds, the majority of the Bermuda is still brown. There has been no corn in my neighbor's field for months, having succumbed to record high heat and watering restrictions. Even calling him my neighbor is off target, we have exchanged morning nods on a few occasions, but I don't even know his name. My porch, which moments ago felt spacious, in reality is only four foot by four foot, and suddenly just a place to wipe your feet.

My experience this morning is a microcosm of the daily life of an addict. Many addict's are able to reach moments of serenity and numbness by swallowing a pill. Some of these addicts think that they are fooling everyone into believing that they are "straight and sober". They believe their addictive behavior is undetected by friends and family. They do not realize that their secret life is just being ignored by others after years of concern and tears. With great hypocrisy they attend their weekly support meetings, pretending to be great examples to others just beginning a life of sobriety. After the meetings, after a day of practiced deception, the addict steps onto her own 4X4 porch and goes numb. I pray each day that their moment of numbness will be interrupted by life's air-horn, allowing reality to rain down.

This morning there were only two realities; coffee and God.

The addict realizes their "coffee", their drug of choice is authentic. Do they realize the veritable nature of God? Can they accept that God will help? Will they allow God to paint sunrises in their life that signal a new beginning?

Another morning will find me again on my porch, enjoying conversations with God. You see it is through these conversations that faith allows me to know that interruptions are temporary, that when beautiful sunrises turn into dark gray clouds, that when lawns give way to weeds, and when my coffee turns cold, He will still be there...listening.

Monday, September 21, 2009

Abstinence Only....


Democratic members of the Texas Legislature have decided that our state funded high schools teaching "Abstinence Only" are not achieving the results desired. They have decided that it has "failed" and must be changed. State Senator Leticia Van de Putte said "We are in denial", inferring that the program is broke and needs to be changed. She quoted numbers, as most outside-looking-in politicians are apt to do, that 46 percent of high school girls have already had sex. (Wouldn't that indicate that 54 percent had not). She also mentioned that 57 percent of boys in high school claim to have had sex. Along with State Representative Mike Villerreal, Van de Putte uses this info to conclude that teaching "Abstinence Only" is not working.
Senator, could it be that abstinence only is being taught with tongue in cheek? In order for these schools to receive coveted state funds they are required to teach this seemingly controversial subject. Could it be that they just go through the motions, to include the occasional "wink, wink" by the teacher.
Abstinence, like so many of our valued morals and ethical behaviors has it's roots in biblical teaching. Perhaps if we allowed the bible back in our schools...perhaps if we embraced it's Author, then this and other subjects would have a greater positive impact on the future leaders of this great nation. If we as parents teach our children a value system based on our faith and then the school system is allowed to ridicule those same teachings we will all fail.
We must not allow this important program to end based on statistics! Instead we must rise to a higher standard of teaching. Teaching abstinence must not be allowed to go they way of other perceived failures. As a nation we learn from our failures, and with determination aim to be better without compromise. We have already laid cracks in the foundation of the family by accepting homosexuality as a trait instead of as someone's choice to ignore the biblical definition of husband and wife, to ignore God's gift of intimacy granted to a man and a woman. Every year we hear from those who want to legalize drugs, it seems it may be easier than to lock up so many abusers. Ironically the largest problem with addiction is to legalized drugs! Doctors have replaced the street pusher by writing prescriptions for every new "syndrome" that comes along. Evidently that is easier than dealing with the patient's real problem, easier than being a physician.
Senator Van de Putte don't take this direction with teaching our children alternatives to abstinence, instead do what we have done as a nation from our beginning; recognize that without understanding that we are better because of our belief in God, all the programs in the world will be for naught. Recognize that without true effort to succeed we have no hope.
"America is a nation with many flaws, but hopes so vast that only the cowardly would refuse to acknowledge them." James Michener

Thursday, September 17, 2009

99 or 1


Earlier this week during a family bible study, unexpectedly an occasion emerged to discuss the parable of the lost sheep, as told in the fifteenth chapter of Luke's gospel. Our conversation was about the "one"; the one lost sheep that had wandered away from the masses. Jesus reminds the cynical audience that a good shepherd will leave the flock to rescue the one that strayed. Once rescued the sheep is carried home on the shoulders of his master. The master announces his triumph to friends and family so they can all rejoice together.
As I drove the many miles home that night I had time to consider this impromptu conversation. Although the earlier discussion had not involved the subject of addiction, I began to consider the "one" as an addict that has wandered away from the masses because of a behavior, because of a choice to go numb. In my 52 years there have been many "1's" in my life, my thoughts were of these ones that I love; my father battled alcoholism for many years, my sister fought drug addiction to the death, her death. Second and third generation family members have battled, some still fight today. I thought of my wife's struggle for more than a decade against prescribed painkillers.As I continued the drive home my attention changed from the "1" to the "99". There have been many "ones", but I thought of the ninety-nine.
Those that did not take a path that leads to a life of self-abuse were hurt by the ones that strayed. The "ninety-nine" began to take new form in my mind. They became more than the names of family members and friends that were in the cataclysmic wake of the addict's behavior, the 99 included everything else that the addict touches. Holidays that are crushed, birthdays forgotten, memories that should elate, instead are avoided. This consuming wake drowns finances, it will soak relationships to a point where they cannot grow. Words are voiced by the addict and the family member that cut to the very marrow of our soul, leaving scars that last a lifetime. Marriages destroyed, trust annihilated, friendships ended.
Should we ever just forget the "one"? Let them stay lost, after all it was their choice. The pain will eventually subside, the scars will surely fade. Maybe one day they will find their way back to the family. Then we can rejoice, but until then why continue to try to find them. Why should we consider carrying them on our shoulders back to the security of the masses? The pain gone,we can begin to have a life without the worrying about one lost sheep.
Why? Because at some time we were the one. 2000 thousand years ago our Shepherd went to the cross looking for us. Knowing that we were lost, He died for us, He died for you and He died for me. He died for the one.
There will be rejoicing in Heaven when we go home, no longer lost.
Today is the day to leave the comfort of the 99 and go find the 1. Help stop the addiction, tell them of your love, tell them of Christ's love, do it today.

Wednesday, September 2, 2009

Is Love Enough?


I just finished a month long study of "The Five Love Languages" by Dr. Gary Chapman. One cannot spend that much time discussing love without naturally contemplating the role love plays in our own life. I spent hours wondering if love is enough when we are dealing with an addict. Whether the addict is our spouse or children, friend or other family member. I wondered, how do we express our love to the addict, what love language do we speak?
Was my love communicated when I sat for hours in the emergency rooms after she had swallowed too many pills. Was love realized in the beginning when the time was spent in hospital waiting rooms as she tried to obtain a prescription; cleverly feigning ailments that did not exist. Did my words of encouragement reflect a loving attitude? Is sympathy or empathy a language of love. There were hugs then arguments, was this done with love? When I cradled her head through the sickness of withdrawals, when I wiped her brows of sweat when her body rejected the absence of drugs, did she know it was because of love? Could fifteen years of abuse been avoided if I had loved her enough in the beginning? Would my love be enough to keep her from going back to the pill?

Addiction is stronger than love.

God is stronger than addiction.

In all the ways we will show our love to someone who has succumbed to the ravages of addiction, if we fail to pray, if we fail to have faith and if we fail to tell them about God, our ways will be a waste.
The Bible tells us in 1st John chapter 4, verse 10;
"This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins."
Does she know that God loves her. Does she know that God can help? Did I tell her? John went on to write in the very next verse
"Dear friends, since God loved us, we also ought to love one another."
Is love enough? Not yours, not mine. Only God's.
If you face this situation today, tell the one you love about the One that loves them. Tell them that you love them, and then tell them again that God loves them. Keep telling them until they believe, until they stop.
Have faith my friend, God loves you too.

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